Friday, May 09, 2008

The Church Experience

Bob and Mary really don’t know what to do about church. They were “born Catholics” – that is, their parents were members of the Catholic Church. They were sent to Catholic grade schools and indoctrinated with the rituals and doctrines of Catholicism. Bob was an altar-boy serving at Mass. He attended church, sometimes against his will, until he was 18. A fleeting smile crosses Bob’s face as he remembers that he was 18 when he “successfully negotiated his release” from his parents’ church.

He does have fond memories of some of these church activities, but when he evaluates his total experience at the end of it all, he feels that control was the main objective of his parent’s church.

Bob speaks about the steady spiritual diet he was served at home and at church: guilt and manipulation lavishly ladled upon a bed of rules and regulations. Sermon after sermon, week after week, and year after year – the same old thing. Bob feels he was never good enough for the church, and he became convinced that he would never be good enough for God.

When Bob and Mary visit his parents, sometimes he will give in and attend his old church with his parents, but he can hardly stand it. Bob can’t talk religion with his parents, because it always ends up in a spiritual free-for-all. Some people call Bob “unchurched”. Bob considers himself a Christian but he doesn’t know if he will ever be able to go back to regular attendance at any church.

Bob and Mary were burned out with their parents’ hell fire and brimstone, our-way-or-the-highway, no-nonsense church. It’s one unforgettable shared experience for Bob and Mary; they’ve both endured religious boot camp together. They went to the same church in their hometown. In fact, they first became aware of each other at a summer church camp. In spite of the best efforts of vigilant counselors and chaperones, Bob and Mary fell in love. But that’s about the only thing of any lasting value they believe their church gave them – each other.

Feeling that they ought to go to “some church”, Bob and Mary eventually selected a traditional, mainline church that averaged about 200 people in attendance every Sunday. It seemed safe. It was a respectable church to attend, good for business and social contacts. They never felt particularly close to God there, but at least they didn’t feel manipulated into religious rituals and doctrines. When Bob and Mary’s children grew to be teenagers, they announced they didn’t want to go to church anymore; and in a few months the entire family drifted away from this church. In some ways Bob and Mary felt it was time to move on, because they were already concerned that this church was far too progressive, socially active, and lenient about lifestyles they did not believe to be biblically acceptable.

A few years later one of Mary’s friends at work invited her to church. It had been several years since Bob and Mary had set foot in any church. They felt like “some church” wouldn’t hurt them, so off they trudged with little idea of the kind of church they would visit. They knew about the white-washed, conservative, straight-laced, rule-happy, uptight church of their youth; and they had experienced the far more progressive, liberal mainline church they took their kids to when the kids were still at home.

The church they were invited to had one major mission: everything was all about spiritual warfare. The church was convinced they need to “map” demon strongholds, identify demons by name, and even take trips to those geographical places to command the demons to leave the affected/infected area. Bob and Mary found all this to be bizarre and illogical. As soon as they could politely leave worship services, they rushed home, found their Bibles in an old bookcase, and tried in vain to find biblical rationale for this spiritual warfare, which seemed to them to be superstition and witchcraft in the name of Christ. Mary thanked her friend at work for the invitation and told her that the church culture of spiritual warfare wasn’t a good fit for them.

A few years later a relative who lived in the same metro area invited Bob and Mary to his mega-church, but after a few months they once again became disenchanted. It was a prosperity gospel church. This church spent most of the time telling its members that God wanted them to be healthy and wealthy, but as Bob and Mary checked out the hundreds of cars in the parking lot it seemed that the only ones getting rich were the pastor and his staff. Bob and Mary now refer to this church as the Jesus mall, a huge group of people convinced that Jesus will fill their shopping bags with physical stuff.

After bailing out of this think-and-grow-rich church, Bob and Mary started to feel like religious failures or at the very least like religious skeptics and cynics. Mary’s mother kept saying that they were too critical, finding something wrong with every church they visited; and Mary started to think that her mother might be right.

They saw an advertisement for a church that sponsored revivals, so they decided that such a church might give them a spiritual shot in the arm that they needed. The next weekend Bob and Mary found themselves in a church they now jokingly refer to as the “Heebie-Jeebie Church.” As Bob and Mary looked for a seat, people were running up and down the aisles. They stepped over two people who seemed to have passed out in the aisle, except their arms and legs occasionally twitched. Bob and Mary were later told that these people had been “slain in the spirit.” In the middle of the service a few people started to laugh uncontrollably, even though the pastor didn’t say anything Bob and Mary found remotely humorous. They later found out that such an activity is called “holy laughter.” A few of the people transitioned directly from hilarious laughter to barking like a dog. Bob and Mary left before the collection.

After that little “shot in the arm” Bob and Mary gave up on what they called organized religion for several years. They studied the Bible at home and decided to make their religious experience “just Jesus and me”, a one-on-one personal relationship with Jesus. They came to understand the meaning of “grace” – the unmerited gift of God of the forgiveness of their sins.

Then one Sunday, they passed a giant mega-church with the sign out front “Grace Church”. Bob said, “Look, another mega-church, probably just like the other health and wealth church.” But they decided to give it a skeptical try. The greeters at the door were friendly and seemed to provide a genuine welcome. The music was contemporary and different from what they were used to in church – but they liked it.

When it came time for the pastor’s sermon, there was no hell fire and brimstone, there was no prosperity preaching, there was no heebie-jeebies. In fact, the pastor spoke of just what Bob and Mary had come to understand at home – by the grace of God in Christ’s death and resurrection, we are forgiven of our sins when we choose to make Jesus our Savior and Lord. Then Jesus comes to live right within us and, on a day-to-day basis, we are to establish a personal one-on-one relationship with Him.

The pastor seemed to be on the same level spiritually as Bob and Mary, not trying to “Lord it over them” or to exert control.

Bob and Mary tried a few more Sunday services and came to the conclusion that this “Grace Church” was where they belonged. They took the membership course, joined the Church, and never looked back.

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